A few thoughts. First of all, there’s been a huge disparity in female sexual satisfaction (as narrowly defined per your article, videlicet: achieving orgasm) between the USA and Western Europe. Even 30 years ago surveys were showing that around 30% of sexually active US women usually or always reached orgasm during sex while 70% did so rarely or never; meanwhile in Europe the statistics were precisely reversed. So clearly the deeply fearful sex-negative US culture is hurting everyone.

Secondly, the adage “familiarity breeds contempt” can be modified to state more accurately, “familiarity breeds boredom.” As we’re a partially monogamous species both physiologically and psychologically many people choose to have clandestine affairs as a way out of matrimonial bed death; unfortunately the lies required end up corroding the relationship. Swingers do better in this regard by intentionally generating a sense of “otherness” in their partner by means of sexual intimacy with others, but emotional insecurities common to most people make this a very problematic solution for the population as a whole.

Personally I doubt there is any one solution to the dilemma our species faces, but if we at least understand the problems inherent in a long-term relationship then perhaps some of the guilt and disappointment and resentment that so many couples end up with could be to some degree avoided or minimized.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.

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