A Letter To New Zealand
Dear New Zealand,
I regret to inform you that due to recent and not-so-recent events, our latest attempt at civilization is collapsing pretty much everywhere and at a pace more rapid than previously expected.
The USA has degenerated into an Orange Reich but alas has completely failed to rise to the sartorial standards set by its German predecessor nearly a century ago. Instead of sporting snazzy uniforms with well-cut jackets, Trump’s mindless stormtroopers merely garb themselves in standard camo or black jumpsuits as they go about their daily business of lawlessly intimidating unarmed peaceful citizens. One must hope that improvements in dress code will eventually be established, or at least arm-bands issued.
Russia remains what it always was: a nation comprising a few large cities run by local barons and a vast hinterland of backwardness and poverty similar to the non-coastal regions of the USA. Russia remains ruled by one man with absolute authority but practically no brain whatsoever. China, as always, is a tyranny ruled from Bejing and entirely under the control of a single ruthless iron-fisted Great Leader.
Europe, which for seventy years led the world as a model of what could be achieved by means of social democracy, is collapsing faster than a souffle removed too early from the oven. The mindless panic over SARS-COV-2 has resulted in nations quickly re-embracing nationalism and protectionism while turning a blind eye to the continued far-right malfeasance of Poland and Hungary, which have established religio-fascist regimes so backward they make parts of Africa look liberal by comparison.
The media, which for decades has used so-called “news” programs as merely a sub-branch of the entertainment industry, has greatly abetted the decline into chaos by reliably sensationalizing everything and carefully avoiding the provision of any context by means of which people would be able to deduce they’re being duped by puff pieces. By repeating the most egregious and inflammatory remarks made by the most absurd blustering buffoons, the media has ensured that the aforesaid buffoons are elected by voters too ignorant and too stupid to do anything but vote for the name they most recognize thanks to endless free media exposure.
Everywhere we look around the world we see the tsunami of mindless populism that commenced in 2015 has triumphed everywhere. Brexit will rapidly turn an already-declining and dysfunctional UK into the world’s gloomiest impoverished turnip republic, most of South America is reverting to its usual chaotic state of endemic corruption and economic incompetence, and in India Narendra Modi is stirring the reliable fires of “patriotic” religious hatred — a strategy that always ends well, as we know from ample historical precedents.
Africa, as always, remains a continent mired in corruption, tribal rivalries, and the overhang of colonial exploitation.
Even your geographic neighbor Australia offers little solace, having in recent years elected repulsive right-wing incompetents like Tony Abbott, John Howard, and now the egregious Scott Morrison. These are men who by comparison make a fatuous halfwit like Boris Johnson look fractionally less brainless and repulsive.
So, in short, the future of civilization rests now on your slender shoulders. We know that you are a nation of fewer than four and a half million people. Being isolated in the Pacific Ocean, however, and largely self-sufficient in terms of agriculture, we are desperately hoping that you’ll manage to cling on and preserve at least a few fragments of what the rest of us have tossed so casually into the trash-bin of history.
If you can keep educating children so that they can at least read and write (something the USA is perpetually incapable of doing) and prevent your media organizations from profiting by means of corrosive sensationalism, perhaps you can retain the vestiges of civilized norms. To this end we would strongly recommend against following a model of policing that turns men into uniformed thugs acting with impunity. We recommend instead trying to pursue the Scandinavian model for as long as possible, whereby use of lethal force is regarded as a total failure of policing rather than an automatic and “righteous” first response.
You may also want to begin re-thinking the entire concept of representative democracy as it has so clearly and self-evidently failed in every regard and is in itself one of the main causes of our present civilizational collapse.
We know you have a lot on your plate, New Zealand. We’re very sorry to have to ask you to shoulder this burden alone. But realistically, there’s no one else available.
The Human Race