A nice article, thanks! I’d add (from lots of personal experience) that both (or more) people involved need to be ready for emotional after-shocks for the first few weeks or months. I’ve known several women who’ve enjoyed exploring their “dark side” with me and everything has gone well & I’ve offered plenty of validation, reassurance, and post-activity comfort & loving, yet the emotional after-shock has nevertheless appeared.

“What must he be thinking about me now?”

“Does this mean I have to do something kinky for him in return? What if I don’t want to?”

“What if I become addicted to X and can’t do without it?”

And so on and so on. In my experience most people need a lot of time to adjust to and accept their own kinks, never mind someone else’s.

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