Airline Safety Briefings Decoded
You know the routine: the last dilatory passenger has finally taken their seat and now the cabin crew are going to recite the safety briefing. Most of us tune out because we’ve heard it before, but few really know what those familiar words, repeated either in a bored monotone by an under-paid flight attendant or presented in a New Whizzy Colorful Humor-Packed Video on the tiny screen in front of you, truly mean.
So here’s the translation of that too-familiar pre-flight safety briefing. It’s likely not what you expected.
Flight Safety Briefing: “Welcome aboard our XXX flight YYY. In order to ensure your safety we ask you to please pay attention to this safety briefing.”
Translation: “Thank god you bought a ticket. It’s a super-competitive business and every dollar counts. Now, for reasons none of us understand, we’re going to waste your time by telling you things that are just plain silly.”
Flight Safety Briefing: “This aircraft is equipped with X doors. Two are the front of the aircraft, four are over the wings, and two are at the rear. In the event of an emergency floor illumination will guide you to your nearest exit.”
Translation: “In the event of an emergency we know 10% of you will panic and get in everyone else’s way. None of you will even notice the floor illumination. You’ll be…
