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An Interview With General Sir Percy Tosser DSO, KGC
A senior British Army general explains why the Ukrainians are doing it all wrong
Foreword: as senior officers in the British Army earlier this week publicly expressed their disgust at the way Ukrainian forces are using NATO-donated weapons, I was curious to hear from the metaphorical horse’s mouth (which turned out to be exceedingly difficult to differentiate from the orifice located at the opposite end of the animal) just why British generals are so upset. What follows is a transcript of the interview.
Me: “General Tosser, thank you for agreeing to this interview. I’d like to begin by asking what prompted the recent outburst of anger at the way in which Ukrainian forces are using NATO-donated weapon systems?”
Tosser: “Excellent question. Did you know that a Javelin anti-tank missile costs one hundred thousand pounds? That is approximately one hundred and twenty-five thousand US dollars. And do you know what the Ukrainians are using them for? Trench assaults! It’s absolutely outrageous!”
Me: “Well, the Russians aren’t fielding much in the way of heavy armor these days, and nearly all the fighting is trench assaults.”
Tosser: “Not the point at all. If the Ukrainians want to assault Russian positions they…
