Another excellent article, thanks Octavia. I’ve found that the USA in particular is awash in people who’ve got various forms of body shame, largely due to the bizarre culture in which perfection is pushed to sell product. One is supposed to be physically perfect (thanks, PhotoShop!!) yet at the same time there’s the essential dissatisfaction that’s required to stimulate the purchase decision.

The most revealing moment for me was many years ago in a semi-pro gym. I stepped out of the shower to see a huge (steroid huge) black guy with the largest penis I’ve ever seen (and as someone who’s had lots of MFM and plenty of swing club experience, that is saying something). He was anxiously tugging on his appendage, muttering about how it just wasn’t big enough.

The fact is, US culture is always about dissatisfaction because that prompts more purchases, whether of bras or creams or corsets or whatever. But provided we look after ourselves reasonably, we can all be sexy and beautiful to the right people. I’ve had somewhere in the region of 300 partners in my life (mostly when I was young, because I was in the music industry….) and not a single one was perfect. But most were beautiful, each in her own way. And I’m certainly not beautiful nor perfect but apparently I’ve been satisfactory for most, as well. It’s who we are, not how we compare to a PhotoShopped advert. So thanks again for writing such a good article!

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Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.

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