As a European and as someone who enjoys sex for all its many dimensions and learning opportunities, I am appalled by how particularly in the USA men prefer women to have had little experience. That’s like going to a restaurant where the chef has prepared only a handful of meals in their career, or being a passenger in an automobile driven by someone who hasn’t taken any advanced driver classes (and yes, I know, most US drivers fall into that category, which is why the USA despite its wide open freeways has so many collisions).

I appreciate hearing a woman talk about her past experiences because I invariably learn something. I want a woman who’s had many partners under many different circumstances because she’s more likely to be an enjoyable lover, not afraid and repressed like far too many people remain for life. And I want to be with a woman who actively enjoys sex as much as I do, with all its myriad possibilities, because I enjoy it tremendously and will enjoy it more with someone who’s up for wherever the ride may take us by mutual agreement.

I admire a woman brave enough to enjoy her sexuality. In fact, she’s the only kind of woman I want to be with because everything else is stunted, shut down, fearful, and frankly tedious. Life is too short to have bad relationships, even if some of those relationships are only for a few hours.

When I have sex with a woman do I care that some of her previous lovers have been taller or had larger penises or greater stamina or more handsome faces? No. I assume she’s with me at that moment because she made an informed choice and values me for who and what I am. And so what we co-create is special and unique and infinitely precious.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store