As someone with a BA(Hons) and MA in English Lang & Lit from Oxford University, I feel I'm well qualified to point out the obvious: Shakespeare's plays and poems were all written by the Lizard People, who live underneath the surface of the Earth and have been controlling our evolution for about a trillion years, give or take a month. When you know what to look for it's obvious that everything attributed to Shakespeare is actually code that communicates the contents of the Lizard People's Five Hundred Year Plan. Which, by the way, foretells the coming of Brexit and Trump, as this is all part of The Great Plan (of which the Five Hundred Year Plan is a small part). Turns out the Lizard People have a very mordant sense of humor and like to watch us suffer self-inflicted inanities. Which I think is the key message in Much Ado About Lizards. Or possibly Twelfth Lizard. One of them, at any rate. Or maybe a different play entirely.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.