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Boris the Joke Falls Flat
Baldrick Johnson, the UK’s most spectacularly stupid and disorganized Prime Minister since the position was invented in the eighteenth century, yesterday lost his slender grip on the Brexit process. Johnson had many years earlier, of course, entirely lost his slender grip on reality.
Sources close to Johnson say he can’t understand where he went wrong. Quoting Johnson, these sources reveal a man utterly unable to comprehend anything at all: “I don’t get it! I had a Cunning Plan! I did everything Trump did: I told infantile lies to the simple-minded, I filled my Cabinet with third-rate dullards and incompetents, I undermined every remaining norm in our democracy, my Party is nothing more than a craven group of lickspittles, and I refused to accept reality in any way. And yet despite all this I lost the vote yesterday. I just don’t understand.”
From the USA Donald Trump was quick to tweet his opinion of why Johnson failed:
#realdonutturmp: Dumb Prime Spare rib, didn’t hav the merchandize!!! No red baseball cap, no t-shirts, no win! I’m a winner, hes a loser. Couldn’t close the deel, not like me. I close the best deelz. I’m the gratest winner!!!
The (dis)United Kingdom will now lurch into yet another political crisis as the Party of Stupid (aka everyone supporting Brexit) does further battle with the beleaguered Party of…
