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Boris Trump Gives An Interview
The British Prime Minister explains why he’s such a great leader
“Look here, before we, ah, commence or incipere as it were, I want to make one thing perfectly clear, which is I don’t appreciate you calling me Boris Trump. That awful American got elected by telling infantile lies to American simple-minded ignorant racists about going back to the 1950s. I, on the other hand, got elected by telling totally different infantile lies to British simple-minded ignorant racists about going back to the 1940s. All the difference in the world. Also I’d prefer if you just call me Winston, or Dear Winston if you prefer.
Right, ah, now where were we?
Oh yes, our magnificent Spirit of the Blitz, our stupendous battle against the coronavirus. As you know, we’ve had a lot of very successful policies including not locking down, locking down, encouraging people to eat out, telling people not to eat out, opening up and locking down again, and driving more than 100,000 small businesses into bankruptcy. If you can think of a better way to handle this life-or-(political)-death crisis then frankly I don’t want to hear about it. Remember, during the Blitz we only had the Germans trying to destroy our economy and crush the spirit of our people. Today it’s us, the British government itself, that’s doing an absolutely superb…
