Criminal Rejects Court Ruling

“It’s not breaking the law if you’re an Old Etonian”

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, a minor criminal temporarily residing in a taxpayer-funded London shelter for the morally bankrupt, was found guilty in the British High Court yesterday of breaking into a children’s home with the intent to steal its lunch money.

Johnson, who was arrested six times while attempting to break into the home over a period of five days, claimed his real purpose was to put money…