Especially if you live in the white-collar world, it’s pretty essential to have a “vanilla” persona to present to those around you. If in addition (like me) you are also “the responsible one” in every situation, that simply reinforces everyone’s perception of you as a staid and perhaps somewhat conservative human being.

Except, of course, as you rightly say, when it comes to matters of intimacy. I’ve literally lost count of the number of women who’ve said during our after our first sexual encounter, “That was totally unexpected!” followed rapidly by, “can we do it again now, please?”

Perhaps one day there will be a LinkedIn for people who like sex. It won’t have many members but those who do sign up will greatly appreciate the clarity it would afford. Assuming one could design a suitable way to sift fact from fiction, of course…