Even Tinder, the ultimate in superficial dating apps, relies on the fact our faces send subliminal cues to others regarding our personality. So it’s not entirely random.

As for the universe “having your back,” well…. actually the universe is vast and impersonal and non-teleological. There’s nothing there to concern itself with the lives of an insignificant primate species on a small world in an obscure spiral galaxy.

I think if we invest much in any approach, be it dating or hoping for a serendipitous encounter over a pile of avocados in the local supermarket, we’re kidding ourselves. Our modern world is so compartmentalized and our dreams of “the one” so unrealistic that it’s highly improbable we’ll find happiness unless we move into more realistic modes of behavior. That doesn’t mean settling, it means having a more complete understanding of the problem domain and coming up with approaches that have a greater probability of yielding satisfactory outcomes.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.