Everyone is different — I tend to enjoy sex that lasts an hour or two at a time, multiple times in a row. But a lot of women aren’t into that, so one adjusts based on one’s partner. And as for a technique that stops you from cumming, I can’t imagine wanting to learn such a thing. For me, duration is a function of enjoyment. The more I’m enjoying it, the less I want to reach the conclusion. This is what makes it organic rather than being a performance. So I can’t advise any man to embrace Uncle Google in the hope of finding some technique (counting backward? imagining Trump naked?) that will stave off ejaculation; far better to go with the flow and really truly be present. After that, everything follows naturally.

As for telling your boyfriend/husband/partner, that’s a very personal and individual thing. For myself I love to listen and learn, but I have at my advanced age no illusions and no insecurities. For others, especially for younger men in the USA, it is likely very different.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.