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First And Last Contact
Yes, there is intelligent life out there, which is why it’s not coming back
Classified transcript of encounter between human representative A078M778L2980 and a lifeform self-identifying as #%^. Only the human side of the interaction is available as #%^ communicates entirely through rapid sequences of shape and color changes.
“Well, hello! This is indeed an honor and, to be honest, one I didn’t expect. I mean, what are the odds of two technological civilizations overlapping in time within a 100 light-year radius? Poor old Fermi didn’t understand the first thing about estimating the odds.
Oh, yes, sorry, I digress.
Well, let me just say how charmed I am to meet you. I’m sure we’ll all be charmed. At least, those of us who aren’t terrified and flee in random directions and those who try to kill you with various weapons and those who want to slice you open to see if they can make bio-weapons out of your body parts.
Ah, oh dear, and of course those who will try to kill you because you invalidate their belief in their magic pixie. Are there many of those? Um, well, yes, actually that is most people.
No, it’s not my fault. People were like that before I was born! Honestly, I wouldn’t do that kind of thing as a joke. It’s how we’ve…
