Hope (for love) Dies Last

How Match Group has created the perfect business model

One of the very first times I was in Russia I heard the phrase Надежда умирает последней (“hope dies last”) given as an explanation for why people keep on persevering in actions that offer little or no chance of success. Hope is a fundamental aspect of human cognitive hardwiring and can be seen everywhere. Few combatants go to war believing they’ll die; the vast majority hope that despite the carnage they will somehow survive. Few workers head to the office accepting their fate as cubicle slaves to be discarded at a moment’s notice; the vast majority hope to cling on (despite the clear incompetence of senior management) and thereby be able to pay next month’s rent or mortgage.

Nowhere is the adage seen more clearly, however, than when it comes to trying to find an intimate partner. One of our most fundamental drives is to secure a mate. A great many people fear loneliness, which adds to the desire to find someone with whom to share our lives. Yet in our increasingly boundaries-oriented world, our ability to do so is extremely constrained.

We can’t form intimate relationships with people at work because there are Human Resources rules prohibiting it, especially if there’s a difference in position in the hierarchy between the two people concerned. We can’t form…