How the Cactus Can Save Western Civilization
Now that politics is merely a squalid sub-branch of the entertainment industry, the road to power passes straight through lies and buffoonery. Charlatans, rogues, and infantile halfwits appeal to the mob because they bluster and splutter in simple sound-bites, repeating their inflammatory catch-phrases until even the most dull-witted supporter can gleefully howl along.
As people aren’t going to become less easily duped and as the rogues aren’t going to abdicate voluntarily, we need a countervailing mechanism if we’re going to slow the inevitable progression of democracy into eventual tyranny.
And so, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen and whoever self-identifies in whatever ways are currently fashionable, let me introduce the savior of Western Civilization:
…the cactus.
Yes folks, this humble plant is all we need in order to buy ourselves a few more years of quasi-stability. Here’s how it can work:
Today, politicians and other televised blaggards can lie blatantly and make impossible promises without consequences. By employing CactusPower ™ we can re-introduce the concept of consequences in a very meaningful and spiky way.
According to the second century writer Tertullian, a Roman general celebrating his…
