How To Be A Cyclist
You’ve got your bike, now learn the attitude
Congratulations! You’re the proud new owner of a bicycle.
This means you’re on the road to becoming Morally Superior.
Not for you the internal combustion engine (though you may have one of these powering a vehicle or two in your garage) and not for you the performative pointlessness of electric vehicles. No. For you, the only road is the road of Authenticity, with your muscles powering your progress just as nature intended.
At least, so long as it’s not raining and it’s not too cold.
Now, it’s all very well learning the mechanics of riding a bike, which basically amounts to learning how not to fall off. But that’s not the secret of becoming a true Cyclist. What you need is the key to unlock the compartment of your brain that will turn you from merely being someone who can pedal into someone who can dominate your environment. This compartment is known as the Great Powerful Secret and the contents lie dormant until released.
The key to the Great Powerful Secret is to understand that riding a bike makes you to all intents and purposes totally invincible (disclaimer: not in fact invincible in any way). This means you can ignore red lights, stop signs, right-of-way, and all other impediments lesser beings must…
