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How To Be A Gym Jerk
Don’t worry, it’s easy and nearly everyone can do it!
I’ve spent most of my adult life working out in gyms, not because I ever wanted to look like Arnold but because I appreciate the health and wellness benefits that come from having frequently-used muscles and good bone density. Over the last thirty-five years I’ve had the opportunity of observing other men across more than a hundred gyms (I work out whenever I travel, as well as at my local gym) and it’s been a bit like studying chimpanzees, except for the fact that chimps are quite intelligent.
While there are some men who work out with good form, put the weights back in the correct locations when they’re finished using them, and only utilize one machine or station at a time, these poor saps are in the minority.
Real men know the whole point of being in the gym is to cause as much inconvenience and annoyance to others as possible.
In case you’re not entirely sure if you’re being sufficiently jerky, here’s a set of handy tips to make sure you’re hitting all the bases:
If you need to use dumbbells, don’t just take the dumbbells you need. That’s an amateur move. Take several pairs. If you’re going to curl 45lbs then be sure to take the 35lbs, 40lbs, 45lbs, 50lbs and 55lbs dumbbells and leave them all on the floor in front of you. This way, everyone else…
