How To Be An Above Average Driver

Superiority doesn’t require as much effort as you’d imagine

Image credit: iStock

Welcome to this short guide to being an above average driver. The skills you’ll need for this exalted status aren’t difficult to acquire, so let’s d(r)ive in and get started!

First of all, every time you sit in the driver’s seat of a motor vehicle you’ll see a large round thing directly in front of you. This is your hand-rest.

The preferred way to use your hand-rest is to drape one wrist over the top; other tried-and-true options include grabbing the seven o’clock position with your right hand or the two o’clock position with your left hand. The amazing thing about the hand-rest is that if you lean hard to one side while some part of your body is in contact with it, the vehicle will slightly change direction. Isn’t that genuinely amazing? No one knows why it happens but you can think of it as a free bonus gift.

One really fun feature of the hand-rest is that if you press the center, it makes a hooting noise! Isn’t that great? You can have hours of fun with this one, especially if at night you find you’re having difficulty sleeping and you want to go outside, get into your vehicle, and make that noise for an hour or two and thereby cheer up your neighbors in case they were feeling a bit sad because they’ve had a…