Human Resources Management: Final Exam

Pass the test and become a certifiable HR manager

Image credit: BBC

This test paper is Multiple Choice.

Multiple Choice means you must select from ONE of the following answers. You MUST NOT select multiple answers. That’s NOT what Multiple Choice means.

You can use the crayon provided to mark the box next to the answer you select.

Do NOT eat the crayon.

You have until the big hand and the little hand are both pointing up like fingers indicating the pretty sky.

You can begin now.

I mean, you can begin the test. Not begin crying.

QUESTION ONE: A junior employee reports being sexually harassed by another junior employee. Do you:

a) Document the allegation

b) Meet with the very attractive accused employee to verify their denial

c) Post pictures of your cat on Instagram and Facebook

QUESTION TWO: A junior employee reports being sexually harassed by a senior executive. Do you:

a) Fire the junior employee immediately

b) Fire the junior employee after searching their email history for anything that can be used to discredit them

c) Report the junior employee to the Legal Department so that they can take action against the junior employee themselves

QUESTION THREE: The corporation you work for is initiating a Corporate Culture Initiative and your job is to support the new mission statement. Do you:

a) Order a cake

b) Order two cakes

c) Order one very large cake

QUESTION FOUR: An employee complains to you that their manager expects them to come into the office at weekends and work eighty-hour weeks. Do you:

a) Send an all-company email congratulating their manager

b) Tell the employee that work-life balance is important so they should be sure to also spend at least 80 hours with their families every week

c) Recommend the manager for a promotion

QUESTION FIVE: A senior executive has promoted a junior employee to a director-level position reporting to them, even though the junior employee is unqualified for the position and you’ve heard that the senior executive is intimately involved with the junior employee. Do you:

a) Check salary scales to make sure the recently-promoted junior employee is at the top of the scale for their new position

b) Send the senior executive an email congratulating them on their willingness to promote “outside the box”

c) Finish the Netflix series you’ve been binge-watching all morning

QUESTION SIX: Two of your subordinates in Human Resources are qualified for an open position that would be a promotion for the lucky candidate. Do you select:

a) The one with the nicest spectacles

b) The one with the nicest spectacles

c) The one with the nicest spectacles

QUESTION SEVEN: It’s the end of the working day and everyone has gone home. You are alone in the office. The office lights go off. Do you:

a) Wait until they come back on again at 7am the next morning

b) Stare at the picture of your cat that’s on your phone

c) Wonder why pot noodles don’t taste great when you rehydrate them with hot chocolate from the vending machine at the end of the corridor

QUESTION EIGHT: Why do you want to become a Human Resources manager? Is it because:

a) You lack the drive and determination to work at McSlop or Kentucky Fried Cancer

b) You think HR is about “helping to make the world a better place”

c) The nice lady in the white coat who speaks slowly with a soothing voice told you it would be the perfect career for you

Congratulations! You’ve finished the test!

You may now eat the crayon.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.

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