I agree with what you’ve written but one may perhaps also add that polyamory requires a great deal of emotional maturity and self-awareness in order to be able to see that emotional relationships are far more than zero-sum. Much as kink relationships require people to go far beyond the norms of vanilla relationships in terms of communication and emotional honesty, so too does polyamory. While a lot of people utilize monogamy as a way of shutting off options and thus avoiding potential jealousy, insecurity, etc. there’s nothing per se about monogamy that implies control of the other person; unfortunately in a fear-based society that sees most interactions as zero-sum, monogamy almost inevitably becomes largely about implicit control which in turn easily leads to deceit and to other unhelpful behaviors.

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