And everything that was meant to be, happened for a reason

Image credit: Westlab

“Follow your dreams!” they said. “Turn your passion into your profession!” they said.

So I did.

My passion was making hand-crafted jelly beans carved into the shapes of mythological creatures. Naturally my beans could only be made from the highest quality ingredients which were organic and sustainably grown.

The scalpels I used to carve the beans were diamond-tipped using only diamond dust from ethically-sourced diamonds.

The elastic plasters I used to cover the wounds I accidentally inflicted on myself with my ultra-sharp scalpels were manufactured in Switzerland by highly-paid craftspeople using only the finest raw materials.

And it took me a whole day to carve one perfect jelly bean.

Because of the high cost of materials and because I needed to earn enough to pay rent and buy food, I wanted to price each hand-carved organic ethical jelly bean at a very reasonable $724.99. I calculated that provided I could sell three beans per week I would be able to cover my costs and eat once a day.

Unfortunately, it turned out I needed to spend money on marketing because otherwise no one would know about my amazing must-buy hand-carved jelly beans. This in turn pushed up my costs, so I had to price each bean at $1,244.99.

Which is, let me tell you, still a very reasonable price for a hand-crafted jelly bean.

Unfortunately, no one stepped up to buy my beans. Not a single one. Nada.

Which left me in deep financial doo-doo.

They didn’t mention that part during the “follow your dreams, live your passion” speech. I don’t know why not.

So there I was: hungry, deep in debt, surrounded by a tiny pile of unsold jelly beans, but in possession of half-a-dozen extremely sharp and shiny scalpels.

Well, you know what’s coming next.

Turns out, people become quite willing to buy hand-crafted jelly beans if you ask them nicely while holding an ultra-sharp diamond-tipped scalpel to their throat. And while it’s true that not many people carry around $1,244.99 in cash it’s also true that most people do have some money on them, not to mention wristwatches and jewelry and smartphones and sometimes tablets or laptops, all of which can be converted into money via your local neighborhood pawn shop. So it all works out fine in the end.

Once I’d perfected out my sales and marketing strategy, my business began to turn around. I was pretty sure that if business kept on growing I’d be able to eat once a day, which was way better than eating only once a week like before.

Turns out, however, that regular businesses don’t appreciate entrepreneurs operating on their turf. Turns out that some people don’t think ultra-sharp scalpels are a legitimate sales & marketing tool. Turns out those some people are called The Police.

No, not the pop band. That would have been fine. I liked some of their songs. Roxanne was great. I mean the police who wear uniforms, unless they’re detectives. Those police.

Anyhow, it also turns out there are things called laws that are put there to stop entrepreneurs from flourishing. Turns out, if you break these law things, people don’t like you very much.

For a while I thought I was in real trouble and I became depressed. It’s not easy when you’ve worked so hard to build a successful business and then someone comes along and takes it away from you. It’s even worse when they take your scalpels away too.

But, turns out everything was meant to be for a reason. Turns out, they have a place for tired and emotional entrepreneurs. It’s a pretty nice place with an OK bed, some people to talk to, and three meals a day. Which is a lot more meals than I was eating as an entrepreneur. Plus, I get some neat clothes to wear and I’ve always loved the color orange.

So everything did happen for a reason that was meant to be, thanks to me passionately chasing my dreams (and my soon-to-be-customers) while holding an ultra-sharp diamond-tipped scalpel.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.

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