“I got the most votes, the best votes, everyone says so, it’s like, so they had those votes down in whatever place, those, you know, and you know what they said? They said my votes were the best, because, and no one else knows this, there was this guy, and so yeah, my votes, the best votes, an’ anyhow Melania, she, you know, so I’m staying.”

If only the real orange pustule was as coherent as your parodies of him, the USA’s decline into total absurdity wouldn’t be quite so obvious. As it is…