I often think it’s a shame that so many people, researchers included, seem to have taken so little cognizance of evolutionary theory. People build up baroque structures based on little more than assertion and faulty studies, never questioning whether or not their notions have evolutionary plausibility. The fact is, for the human race to have survived thus far, and for our primate cousins to have endured for millions of years, it’s pretty obvious that there can’t be huge differences between males and females when it comes to sexuality or anything else.
Imagine researchers positing that it takes female humans four times as long to digest food, or defecate, or absorb water, or any other biological function. Such claims would be risible because they self-evidently would cause huge survival problems in the wild. Sadly when it comes to sexuality few people take the time to apply the same logical criteria, defaulting instead to unquestioned transient social norms.
So yes, sexuality is indeed complicated and complex. But there cannot be enormous differences between the genders because if that were the case it is highly unlikely that we’d be here to talk about it. Any species that can’t achieve mating quickly and easily isn’t going to survive the vicissitudes of the wild for very long, especially when that species lacks powerful claws and teeth, can’t run very fast, and doesn’t have a tough hide. For almost all our evolutionary history we’ve been prey animals and that means we’ve had to be able to move from interest to arousal to consummation in very short order indeed. Which in turn implies more of a concordance than difference between the genders in the important matter of sexuality.