I’m skeptical about anyone who proposes a normative standard for any kind of sexual activity. There’s such a wide variety of people (and combinations of people — one woman I knew liked her husband to be gentle and kind in bed but wanted her lover to pump her hard for hours) that any prescriptive notions are bound to be wildly wrong for a lot of folk. When it comes down to it the best sex isn’t “about” anything at all — not about duration, frequency of orgasm, particular activities, or anything else. It’s about two people enjoying each other in mutually agreeable ways. It really is that simple.

If some people could just stop telling other people what “normal” is then a lot more people might be able to enjoy sex a lot more because their heads wouldn’t be filled with unhelpful ideas.