I’m sure it’s no consolation but it’s pretty much just as bad on the other side of the fence. I’ve only dipped my toe into the dating app experience very occasionally but in my limited experience women can be just as prone to Instant Boorishness Syndrome as men seem to be. I’m not really interested in “hooking up” because I’m primarily interested in people, not simply putting my penis into a receptacle. So I try to engage in conversation about life, interests, experiences, etc. This leads to several stock responses such as “If I wanted an egg-head I’d hang out on a college campus” and “you must be gay ’cause you didn’t sext me yet.”

And while men apparently send unsolicited dick pics, women (amazingly) send unsolicited breast pics.

Apparently being online results in some sort of generalized dehumanizing that renders folk incapable of (i) perceiving others as truly human, and (ii) engaging in what used to be known as “getting to know each other.”

It’s quite sad, and it seems to me that while we’ve reached a kind of Nash Equilibrium in the dating app business there may be an opportunity for a more adequate and humane alternative one day soon. Let’s hope so!