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In Other News…
A quick look at the situation around the world
Today a minority group calling themselves Thoughtful British Citizens (TBC UK) announced that Prime Minister Boris Johnson, the man responsible for spreading so much Brexit contagion across the United Kingdom and thus causing incalculable harm to tens of millions of people, has been placed in social isolation at an unknown location. TBC UK has said it will ensure that Johnson, who has suffered from Compulsive Lying Disorder since birth, will be restrained for as long as necessary from infecting anyone else, which will be at least the next forty years. The value of British shares and the UK Pound rose steeply within minutes of the announcement being made.
Meanwhile in the USA, with epidemiological data showing that the old and flabby are most at risk from covid-19, Vice-President Pence, who continues to claim he has “no interest whatsoever” in assuming the Presidency himself, was filmed escorting several coughing and wheezing visitors into the Oval Office for a special prayer meeting with the Presidential imbecile. This caused some difficulty with regards to “social distancing” because Melania Trump was already in the room with her own group of shivering and coughing visitors eager to shake hands with her husband. In other news, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was seen in the company of several athletic and scantily-clad young men, taking…
