Intelligent Life Discovered on Earth

Scientists working at NASA and ESA announced today that they’re confident they’ve discovered signs of intelligent life on Earth. The biggest surprise of all is the totally unexpected finding that this intelligent life is most probably human in origin.

For decades the scientific community’s approach to searching for intelligent life has been to monitor the skies in quest of inexplicable regularly repeating signals. This, it was assumed, would indicate a technological alien intelligence. Over the years various sources of repeating signals have indeed been discovered but every one has been shown to have natural origins, as was for example the case with both pulsars and quasars.

As a result of repeated failure to detect intelligent life in this way, collaborating teams of scientists at NASA and ESA realized that the previous approach had failed because of a fundamental error in assumption. What if, these scientists asked themselves, endlessly repeating signals are the wrong thing to be looking for?

Clues to the fact that intelligent life would not emit endlessly repeating signals came from analysis of communications on our own planet. Using deep neural networks employing self-training heuristics based on billions of input signals from everyday life, NASA and ESA computers were able to determine that endlessly repeating signals are in…