It obviously doesn’t matter whether or not you are “missing out.” Your focus is on the trauma and unless that could change, no physical behavior is likely to make a difference. I knew a woman who, the first time she went down on another woman during a foursome, got her nose broken when her partner thrust into her from behind too forcefully. Even though my friend was enjoying her first experience of feeling another woman trembling under the touch of her tongue, the association between bisexual activity and a broken nose is so firmly established in her mind that she’ll never try it again. Trauma is never an easy thing to overcome, especially in the absence of any powerful motivation to do so.

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