It's entirely unnecessary to conjure up fantasies for which there is, and cannot be, empirical support. We already have abundant evidence that humans are a semi-monogamous species. Phenotypically men are somewhat larger than women (on average); we know that in harem/monogamous ape species the male is much larger than females whereas in promiscuous primate species the size difference between males and females is very little. In monogamous primate species, males have small testes; in promiscuous species they have large testes (all that sperm competition requires frequent mating). We humans have... testes in the mid-range relative to body mass. When it comes to hardwired behaviors we exhibit mate-guarding (absent in promiscuous species and in harem species) and deceit. In short, biology and ethnography provide sufficient evidence for us to know without a shadow of doubt that we get the worst of all worlds. Monogamy is simply society's way of minimizing violence resulting from young males having insufficient access to females - which occurs when powerful men sequestrate women in bulk via harems, or marry multiple wives as per Islamic culture. It's an extremely imperfect solution because there are no ideal solutions for this dilemma. Polyamory and swinging are attempts to side-step the repressions and neuroses that result from attempting monogamy, but they are for a tiny minority of emotionally well-developed individuals. The rest must simply suffer as they have done for centuries.

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Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.

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