I’ve lived around the world, I’ve had a wide range of sexual experiences, and I’ve been fortunate to have learned from many partners in my 60 years on this planet. The one thing I’ve learned above all else is this: never, ever, think that politics and sexuality have anything to do with each other. When you confuse the two and think they are related, all that happens is misery and confusion. While it is fashionable to proclaim that sexuality is a manifestation of politics, we need to remember that nearly all fashionable transient claims are wildly mistaken — indeed, the more popular a claim and the more it’s assumed, the more likely it is to be wrong.

Years ago at university I had a friend who was miserable because she believed that as a feminist it was her duty to have sex with other women, but she simply had no sexual feelings towards other women. What she really enjoyed was being spanked and dominated by older white males, but this was so Politically Incorrect that she tormented herself with guilt. So she forced herself into a brief lesbian relationship that hurt both parties concerned, and after her occasional “lapses” with dominant men would spend weeks in an orgy of miserable self-criticism redolent of the worst period of Mao’s Cultural Revolution.

Since then I’ve seen many other examples of misplaced anxiety resulting from confusing personal desire with abstract political posturing.

Keep it simple: if you enjoy something and it’s consensual, politics is irrelevant.

Unless, of course, you enjoy feeling confused and conflicted and miserable, in which case….

Written by

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store