I’ve never understood the whole dick-pick thing, but if I ever decide to create one I’ll gratefully follow all your helpful suggestions! Your article reminded me of my Oxford days because there used to be a spot on the Cherwell river that was secluded behind bushes and, in later years, an ugly green iron fence. It was here that the male tutors would sun themselves in the nude (for health reasons, honestly…).

Anyhow, one day two of the tutors (let’s call them Tony and David) were letting it all hang out on the grass when suddenly they heard the sound of a punt (a flat boat) full of partying students coming up the river. Tony took his newspaper and placed it over his genitals while David took his newspaper and put it over his face.

After the students had passed, the two tutors removed their newspapers. Tony turned to David and asked, “Why did you position your newspaper like that?” David replied, “Well, my students would recognize me by my face.”