Last Man Standing

How “be prepared” means different things to different people

Image credit: Tao Zero

The following is a transcript recovered from an audio recording device discovered among the ruins of twenty-first century North America.

Don’t know if anybody’s ever gonna hear any of this, but here goes.

Y’all will know about preppers. We knew something bad was gonna go down sooner or later so we got ourselves prepared. Out here in Idaho we got streams of clear water, trout, and some good game passing by from time to time. I got me a generator to keep the freezer running and the TV going. A man needs his Saturday night football.

I felt pretty good about The End Of Days. First of all, I knew I’d be one of the Saved. Been a church-going man all my life, never missed a Sunday, except when there was that business with the feller who ought not to have come to our town. We aren’t racist up here, but we don’t want to see dark-skinned folk acting like they’re as good as the rest of us. Anyhow, apart from that one weekend when I had to help out with the lynching, I’ve never missed a Sunday. And that was god’s work so I’m pretty sure I’m in good ’n’ tight with the big guy upstairs.

So anyhow, I got all my essentials: four AR-15s, some night vision goggles, eight Smith & Wesson .45 semi-autos, and 20,000 rounds of .223…