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Living With A Pontiac Firebird
A car that was “all talk and no trousers”
Among the many accidentally amusing vehicles I’ve owned sits the General Motors mid-market “sporty” car for the masses: the Pontiac Firebird. For those who couldn’t afford GM’s “America’s own sports car” the Chevrolet Corvette Stingray, the Pontiac Firebird or alternatively the Chevrolet Camaro (identical to the Firebird except for differently-styled front grill and rear lights), was the next-best-thing. I bought one in 1991 because it was cheap. Little did I know the delights pf ownership awaiting me.
Known internally and dismissively within General Motors as “the J-car,” the Firebird was all style and no substance. With a live rear axle and suspension originally designed by Thomas Edison’s great-great-grandfather, the Firebird was never going to have anything approaching sporty handling. But as the 5-liter V8 wheezed to a maximum claimed output of only 200 horsepower, being sporty was never within its capability. But just in case the occasional customer might get carried away after downing a few too many Budweisers, there was a precautionary lag between pressing the accelerator to the floor and any subsequent vague response by the engine. As a result, it was usually best to plan several minutes ahead when hoping to overtake anything on the freeway.
