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Management Report for the Roman Catholic Church
Our plan for a return to strong future growth
INTRODUCTION
The Roman Catholic Church (hereafter the Corporation) was for nearly one thousand years the most successful business the world has ever seen. In recent centuries, however, a variety of factors have resulted in the Corporation being depositioned in several key markets. This Report will first analyze the primary factors that have resulted in loss of market share, and then will make several recommendations intended to enable the Corporation to halt its decline and, where possible, begin to re-establish its brand and thereby re-invigorate its revenue stream.
OVERVIEW
The Corporation was an early innovator in management practice, centralizing and establishing a functional hierarchy long before potential competitors adopted similar business models. One central feature of the early years of the Corporation was a highly pragmatic mix of centralized decision-making combined with a significant degree of local autonomy. In this way, the core marketing messages of the Corporation could retain a general consistency while being adapted to the needs of local markets.
This combination of doctrinal orthodoxy mixed with market-specific adaptations enabled the Corporation to expand rapidly in its initial phases. By absorbing many earlier religions’ brand characteristics, the Corporation was able to effectuate market dominance without the necessity of over-spending on competitive positioning. Utilizing the Unique Selling Point (USP) of Hebrew mythology — the one true god — and adapting it to contemporary requirements, the Corporation was able within the span of a mere few centuries to turn former local deities into wholly-owned subsidiaries rebranded as saints. Where such rebranding would have created too great a conflict with the core messages of the Corporation such as guilt, shame, and sexual repression, former deities were not turned into saints but instead into opposition figures. Hence the god Pan was rebranded as Satan and the Underworld of Hades was rebranded as Satan’s realm of eternal torment.
Due to the mysogenistic and highly neurotic nature of the foundation Hebrew mythology (itself an incoherent patchwork of earlier myths and fables)…
