Member-only story
Mister Hillier Goes To Washington
A verbal history of the very near future
Danny Arkenblight, 57, former steelworker
“Well, hey now, I mean, who wouldn’t vote for the best president in history, am I right? I mean, hey, look what he accomplished in his first term! He defeated socialism! He put the economy back on the right track! He sure taught a lesson to all those foreigner countries that were taking advantage of us thanks to the Demo-rats giving away everything we had. I mean, nobody said it would be easy, and sure, I’m a father too, but hey, those illegal rapist alien children invading our great nation, I mean, something had to be done, am I right? And why should the hard-working tax dollars of people like me, I mean, when I had a job, pay so mexispanic kids can lounge around all day eating food I paid for when there’s a way for them to contribute to this great country? I mean, you know, sure, hey, it may sound bad to some namby-pamby libruls and pointy-head traitors who hate our great nation, but, I mean, mexispanic kids make great compost and remember: they’re not our kids we’re talking about here. We’re not talking about American kids. You gotta remember that, right?”
Suzie Chantprayer, 61, former County Sheriff administrative clerk
“Oh, why did I vote for President Hillier? That’s easy! As the Bible says: the…
