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Ms Austen’s Continuing Guide To The Safe Conduction Of Motorized Vehicles
The fact that the other driver did not intend, through their habitual incompetence behind the wheel, to kill you, will in no manner minimize the inconvenience of your early demise.
It is a lamentable fact that at least 99% of drivers on the road are reprehensibly lacking in the basic skills and mental fortitude necessary for the safe conduction of motorized vehicles. Although these 99% (and this figure may, dear reader, be an under-estimate of the true percentage of lethal incompetents who daily demonstrate their unsuitability for any position behind the steering-wheel of a motorized vehicle) believe themselves eternally to be “above average” drivers, the truth is quite otherwise. Very few of those who assume the driver’s seat have even the intellectual capacity of a dead snail and are thus not well-equipped to confront the many challenges the highway may present to them upon occasion.
At this point, dear reader, you may justly feel that I am being somewhat unkind. Dead snails, after all, do have the singular merit of doing no harm and it is not beyond the bounds of possibility that a few such deceased gastropods may indeed score more highly on IQ tests than a great many human…
