Member-only story
Nigeria To The Rescue
How Africa’s largest nation will enable Brexit to be a glorious success
To: British Govinmint, Untied Kingdum
From: Chief General President Topguy, Nigeria Govinmint
Dear British Govinmint,
How you doing?
We want introduce ourselves. Create some chimistry, get spark going, know what I mean?
We loved your covid thing, really top great! Make everybody think all big troubles not ’cause you did Brexit but ‘cause 0.062% of population had problem with virus! We still laughing big about that one! Maybe we use same game here too! No worries, stealing oil money! No worries, corruption! All fault of coronavirus! Just like UK.
OK now, now we be serious here. We know you leaving EU soon-soon. We know big crash, you try blame EU, blame coronavirus. But still you all alone, no money, no jobs, everybody sad. Small rainy county, no friends. World laugh at you. Russia kick you ‘round like football, Chinese ignore you, USA rape you big time and you gotta smile and take it, right? ’Cause USA your friend!
Man, we laugh so hard at this one!
But we understand. Here the good news: we want friendship with UK. Sensitive friendship, modern friendship. We promise we buy all your…
