Octavia, I fear you are succumbing to the temptation of reason and thereby failing to take offense at everything in every possible way. Remember: the Rome of perpetual outrage wasn’t built in a day of micro-aggressions! It’s important not to become complacent and let the inner fires of one’s spleen grow dim. Remember too that even writing the acronym M*LF is itself a major micro-aggresion (which makes it, perhaps, a Medium aggression, but I digress) and so not only have you failed to respond with vitriol and scorn but, far, far worse: you’ve committed a sin against Political Correctness yourself. Fortunately penance is straightforward: 100 articles on how everything is bad everywhere and at all times unless you personally are appeased in whatever ways you feel to be suitable. Only of course we can’t use the word suitable because that implies suit, which is a garment of male oppression.

Good luck!

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