Octavia, you may want to dig into some of the literature within the realm of evolutionary psychology. I’ve personally found it to be very helpful in achieving a broader understanding of the motivations we have across the spectra of gender and desire. While some EP is simplistic and plain silly, much is actually quite revealing. Meanwhile, of course, it remains true that the more we seek in a relationship the harder it is to find, which is just basic economics (in the broadest sense). For example, if I merely want a red car, it is a trivial problem to solve. But if I want a red car that has four-wheel-drive and can carry five passengers and is fuel efficient and is less than 3 years old and has a winch and has dual-batteries and costs less than $20,000 then I’m going to find my probability of securing the vehicle I want within a realistic radius of my home is much diminished. Substitute personal qualities for the list of vehicle attributes listed above, and the same effect pertains.

So yes, women can always obtain quick sex far more easily and at much lower financial cost than all but the wealthiest and most powerful (or famous, which in contemporary society is mistaken by many for the other two attributes) men. But obtaining a satisfying long-term relationship is difficult for anyone regardless of gender, because one’s list of requirements is far more extensive and therefore the potential matches are far fewer.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.

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