One of the things I hear consistently from my male and female friends in the dating pool is the degree to which most people carry past hurts into present interactions. Obviously this is hugely counter-productive but, unlike you, most people seem never to grasp the dynamic they’re locked into.

I suspect if we regarded dating as merely an opportunity for potentially interesting conversation, and have no additional hopes, dreams, or expectations, there’s less likelihood of creating no-win dynamics. It’s only when we’re geared up hoping for a dream future that we simultaneously fear being disappointed, and it is that fear that stimulates the carry-over behavior.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.