Member-only story
Our Backwards World
Why we seem to be living on the wrong side of Alice’s looking-glass
Around the age of eight, I began to realize that the adults around me actually had no clue what they were doing, nor why they were doing it. The weekend parties they held comprised desperate self-medication with cigarettes and strong alcohol which left them even more drained and despondent than they were before. Whenever I asked questions, the answers I received made no sense. Although I grew up in what back then were called Third World countries, the situation seemed to be the same during the brief interludes we spent in the UK — only with much worse weather.
Early in my eighth year of existence I was in bed, awake due to my usual persistent insomnia, and I saw my life stretched out in front of me like a long ribbon. The details were obscure but what was crystal-clear was the fact the ribbon did not extend infinitely out into the future. There was a place where it stopped. That, I understood, is the moment when I will take my last breath, my heart shall pulse for the last time, and after that my brain will shut down due to oxygen starvation and thereafter I will cease to exist.
This comprehension made me determined to live as full a life as possible under whatever circumstances would pertain.
