Perhaps I’ve had fortunate situations, but also perhaps there’s the influence of approach, which usually involved my partner playing with the guy first before we moved into a threesome. That way the two of them were able to establish a basic connection, then I’d meet the guy socially with my partner, and that would usually establish sufficient comfort for things to work out just fine. And perhaps also we were somehow signalling in a way that tended to attract more confident men. There are so many variables it’s quite difficult to know precisely what could be responsible. As for my partner(s) playing solo with other men, that seems to be by far and away the easiest thing to accomplish as there’s no shortage of horny men out there.