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Post-Pandemic Priorities
How to survive the return to normality with your pride intact
OK, listen up! We know you got spooked by the media into acting like the world was coming to an end, even though obviously it wasn’t.
Hey, don’t feel so ashamed, everyone did it. And anyway, it generated a ton of extra ad revenues for Google and everyone else selling ad slots, so it wasn’t all bad. You made a lot of media barons very happy and even richer than they were before.
But back to you: all those fresh fruits & vegetables you bought, everything rotted, right? Cause let’s face it: who eats fruits & vegetables unless they’re chopped up small and used as pizza topping? But anyhow, all that stuff rotted away and you threw it in the trash like a good citizen should. No problem there.
The real problem is: you’ve got 4,282 rolls of toilet paper stashed in your garage, in your living room, in the hallway, and in the spare bedroom. There’s no way you’ll get through that many rolls any time soon so when people come to visit, there’s the evidence that you totally lost it, panicked, and bulk-bought like a crazy person.
Or as we say these days, like everyone else who let themselves get turned all hysterical by sensationalist media reports every thirty seconds.
