Regrets

Why it’s a mistake to say « Non, je ne regrette rien »

Image credit: the estate of Edith Piaf

Now I’ve reached “a certain age” I tend to find myself being asked to listen to the monologues of those equally or even more ancient than myself. As well as the seemingly inevitable recitation of pains and injuries and bodily functions that have gone awry, a great many of these expositions are about regrets.

It’s inevitable that as our demise grows ever-closer we should look back on our lives in an attempt to see and understand the patterns that created the weave of our brief moments on this beautiful blue-green world. I’d like to think that sometimes we can, almost at the very end, gain a little wisdom that may be used to help in some way those who will follow us. Regrets can be the start of a process of evaluation and as such can be valuable.

Unfortunately, at least based on my limited experience of listening to the regrets of other people, it seems a lot of us regret decisions that resulted in some personal loss. “I wish I’d bought stock in Microsoft back in 1989” is an example of a self-centered regret. Another is, “I wish I’d stayed in my job with Google for another two years; I’d have vested more stock options and could have moved to a better position in a late-stage startup afterward and got even more shares.” A variant of this materially-oriented regret is, “I really wish I hadn’t…