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Relief As Stock Markets Recover
As Russian invaders crush Ukraine and Western leaders hide under the bed, stock markets rise sharply
On 25th February 2022, as Russian forces smashed through Ukraine massacring innocent civilians and Ukrainian forces at will, stock markets around the world rebounded as analysts realized Western sanctions against Russia are in fact totally meaningless and will not impact the all-important price of oil, nor in any way change the global trading system on which Russia depends.
Analysts had been concerned that Western leaders would introduce sanctions that would actually cause a tiny inconvenience to Russia’s ruling mafioso. Relief that the sanctions are in fact utterly worthless led to a recovery rally that enabled major markets to end the day near to an all-time high.
Western leaders, having carefully studied the movie Monty Python’s Life of Brian, and in particular the scenes involving endless pointless meetings by the executive committee of the Judean People’s Front, held countless press conferences to confirm their determination to continue to make fatuous pronouncements about standing strong against unprovoked Russian aggression while hiding as far under the bed as they can collectively crawl and carefully doing nothing whatsoever to aid Ukraine in its time of need.
