Sex is like food: it’s really, really easy in the USA to eat terrible food but that doesn’t mean all food is terrible. You just have to go somewhere it’s prepared with skill (like a Michelin toqued restaurant in Paris). If you really wanted to know about swinging, Terry Gould’s book The Lifestyle is still a great reference work that would have saved you a lot of wasted effort. While it’s easy to find swinging groups that are as appetizing as anything served up by McSlop & Co, it’s also true (and I speak from experience) that in general more discerning swingers are far more interesting people than the great mass of the population. This is because they’ve made a conscious choice to go beyond the 1870s morality of Standard US Culture and explore and discover what things may suit them better. And pretty much anyone who’s swung more than once and has more than six functional neurons knows that swinger parties in hotels are to be avoided like an STD. You don’t look for great cuisine in a dumpster, and you don’t look for great people in a cheap edge-of-town Hilton.