Speaking from personal experience I can say that BDSM demands a lot more thought, focus, trust, truthful communication, respect and intimacy than people in the vanilla world can imagine. People who don’t know BDSM focus on the externalities (the bondage gear, etc.) while those actually doing it know that more than 90% of the focus is always and relentlessly on the internalities.

I’ve always been dominant and have enjoyed several long-term D/s relationships but I also recognize that the price we pay comes from the fact these are far more demanding than generic vanilla relationships. They are also, almost always, far more rewarding.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.

Anyone who enjoys my articles here on Medium may be interested in my books Why Democracy Failed and The Praying Ape, both available from Amazon.