Stop The Steal!

How good Republican patriots everywhere can prepare for the coming battle against the lies and stolen votes of the Biden baby-eating god-haters

Image credit: Flagpole Magazine

Hey, listen up! You’re not alone, okay? Some poll by some company somewhere says that 88% of us patriotic god-fearing pro-life right-thinkers know that those slimy demo-rats are trying to steal the election.

But you know what? We’re not gonna stand for it!

No sir, we’re not. But we can’t just waddle into the street with our AR-15s bouncing off our bellies. We gotta prepare. Civil war ain’t for the faint of heart. Or, for that matter, for the congested-of-heart. So we need to get ourselves ready for the End Of Days.

First off, we gotta cleanse ourselves. And what’ better for a good old-school cleansing than a bottle of bleach? Every single one of us should get at least a pint into our bellies so we can be ready for the coming pocky-lips.

Next up: firearms. Sure, you think you got a round in the chamber and when you pull back the slide or the bolt a little to check, it looks like there’s a round in there. But is there really? I mean, really? Nobody wants that “dead man’s click” when you’re out shooting demo-rat traitors, right? So to be sure, look down the barrel with your good eye…